Shopping

Yesterday I went to the store to purchase a lamp for my livingroom. I have gotten sick of the dim lighting. While in the store I saw a good bargain for a folding camping chair, and I want one for my balcony so I can sit outside and read in the afternoon. I decided to splurge and buy both. They would both come to about 300 yuan, a hefty price for a local.

The way this store works, is that you get the upc code and pricetag of the item you want and take it to a special register in the front of the store. They ring it up, you pay, they put about one hundred red approval stamps all over your four receipts, and you take it back again to the back of the store where they take a few receipts in exchange for the item.

The lamp was in a small box, however, and apparently I didn't need to do this and could bring the product to the cash register right away. So, lamp box in hand, I went to the lawn and garden department and approached two salesgirls with the pricetag of the chair. "I would like to buy this chair," I said in Chinese. Both girls were sitting and relaxing and didn't bother to get up. The rest of the conversation, all in Chinese, goes a little like this:
"You want to buy that lamp?"
"No, I would like to buy this chair."
"But that lamp's UPC code is no good, it is torn. You can't buy it,"
"Ok. But I want to buy this chair."
"If you don't have a store discount card, you can't have the sale price,"
"That is OK," I say "but can I please buy this chair?"
"But your lamp has the wrong UPC code."
(Frustrated, I return to the lamp department and get a different lamp, and return to the ladies)
"Ok, See? Now can I buy this chair?"
"Well, do you want to buy the lamp or the chair?"
(Now the lamp department man comes over to help)
I say, "Can I take this price tag to the cash register?"
They don't respond. I slowly walk away with the tag holding it out so they can see what I am doing. The lamp man follows me dutifully...

I arrive at the cashier. She is helping someone else and the lamp man goes behind the counter to help me. "You want to buy the lamp?" he asks taking it from me. I also hand him the chair pricetag. He looks confused. "You want to buy the lamp or the chair?" "I will buy two things. The lamp and this," I say pointing to the pricetag. "Aah!" he says, finally getting, and it he runs away back toward the garden department. The cashier rings up the lamp. At this point I am drawing a small crowd of customers and employees. The price is 162 yuan, she says. I hesitate as I calculate the price of the two items. A handsome young employee approaches. "Ting bu dong." he says carelessly, "She doesn't understand you." I realize that she has rung up only one item. At this point, my pateince is wearing thin. I turn to him, "I understand." I say sharply and clearly. "But this is the price of one item. I am buying two things." I say holding up the tag and the lamp box. I realize that she thinks the tag is for the lamp. I point to the two. "Bu yi yang de," I say, not the same. She looks at me blankly. Lamp man just then runs full speed up the isle with the chair. I ask to look in the bag and we take it out. It is broken. He repackages it and runs back to replace it with another chair. In the meantime, the crowd is growing bigger, and a man behind me who wants to show and practice his english says, "Excuse me miss, may I be of assisstance?" "No thank you," I say, "I am fine". But he hovers close, and begins translating every damn utterance into rough english which is making me crazy. The man returns with a good chair and finally they ring up the price. I give my bank card, but it is a new card and I forgot the password and have to dig five minutes to find a slip of paper I have written it on, while people lean over my shoulder and peer in my bag to see what I am looking for. Finally I find it and punch it in, but it doesn't go through. We try twice more, still doesn't work. The women ask if I have another card. I say I will pay cash. I see that I have 3 one hundred bills and start rummaging in every pocket for the remaining 66. I think I am not going to make it and am searching for a long time and I finally smooth out a wad of small bills equalling 66. I go back for the three hundred bills to discover that it is actually only two. There are probably about 15 people pushing in around me now to watch. Sorry, I say. It is not possible. I start to leave. Out of frustration and embarassment, I ask, do you have an ATM? "Yes, I will lead you there," says english translation man. "Please hold these things for a minute," I say. The crowd disperses and we exit the store out the front door after translation man argues with the guard there who insists that we should walk five minutes across the store to use the exit door. I go to the ATM and have no problem withdrawing money. The translation man hangs over my shoulder every second asking if I need assistance with the machine and peering at the screen curiously. I am abrupt and rude with him, and feel badly for doing so. I think I will be helped to my death in this place. I apologize and he attempts to speak soothingly to me which annoys me more. I thank him and return to the store. Finally, I think relieved. Finished. I approach the cashier. She is standing next to a cart that she has placed my purchases in. As I approach I realize the cash register is covered with a red dust cover. The lights go out and a closing announcement begins on the loudspeaker. "Oh, come on! Really!!??" I ask her pleading and exasperated. She points in the direction of the cashiers at the front of the store. She takes the cart herself and escorts me to the front of the store. "Will you be needing to buy anything else today?" she inquires. I really need groceries, which is why I came in in the first place. "No. Nothing." I sigh. She checks me out, and I exit.